"i wished i went to a sch like vs
practised harder
than went straight to nafa to pursue my dream
but when i think about it again
wld i have had so much fun?
wld i have met so many cool frens?
wld i have even loved playing my tuba so much?
i mean there are plus points la
i'm sure the fun u had makes u ebnjoy ur jc life
when u look back 30 years ago when u're 47
are u going to rmb the Es and Ss u got
or rather the frens u had and the fun u had
ur frens are the ones that will follow u thru life
not the results
results are just ur stepping stone to starting a career
they are just elements that nourish ur career
frens Are the elements that nourish ur life
haha
this sounds so damn cheesy and i nvr knew i cld say such crap
aniwae, but i guess wads impt is to look forward and not regret
u can't change the past, but u can mould ur future still" said joel the big guy (:

Thanks joel. For talking to me when i was feeling really really really unhapppy and down. Its been a long time since i used the word "unhappy". OH yes you bet. IM unhappy. Its just so exasperating and disheartening for you to know that many people are improving and performing as well as they should for promos but me, im still lagging behind by a thousand miles that i seem so impossible to ever reach that level of attainment. Jc is just simply screwup for me. I had never ever felt so ridiculously stupid and dumb and useless in my life. Sometimes, i really regret my choice of vj. Would i be better off at Raffles or something. Vj is far too fun loving and enjoyable. Too much fun-elements that i find myself underperforming far too much than my supposed capabilites. In any case, im just super disappointed and feeling super anguished.

But anyway the past week has been happy and carefree and enjoyable for me, with quality time spent with friends. But then again, everyone is doing so well while im like down in the dark abyss. well nvm. Im just feeling super emotional and gloomy.


1 R paper included in my schedule next year.