i look at you.
i look at you again.

i wonder whether to trust you.
you do differently from what you preach.
i feel like a spare tyre of yours.
maybe just a container.
for you to pour your woes into
making me filled with your burden
yes, i am always there.
yes, i would listen to you
there when you're down.
but you never once treasure my existance.
you would only come limping to me when you injured your leg
and leave me all alone after you've recovered.
there, i look just like a loner.
a desperate loner.
i want to be like this no more.
you make me feel so empty.

sometimes i wonder if you are true.
i don't know whether to hate you or accept you.

good music, good life

gosh my mom and father is singing to the tune
of this symphony by the name of "folklore suite"
hahaha
it sounds rather nice.
i wanna visit esplanade and get the score.
hah
i was looking through nyaa booklet.
and i am damn inspired to take up dancing [haaha!]
i wanna take up classical guitar, clap modelling
dress making, drummers, embroidery, fabric painting
floral art, knitting, pplaying another musical instrument,
painting and deisgn, patchwork, plant study, pottery,
quilting, and wood carving!!!!!!!!!!!!
i get so inspired by stuff so eassily.
i wanna do sea sports too.

yesterday night i was walking around at pasir ris park
and i heard frogs croaking
it just threw me back in time to 10th of may
we were at obs in campsite 3 this very ulu place where
it is froggy-filled.
hahaha. and i saw the grasses by the sides and it reminded me of tent pitching.
amudsen is always the last group to pitch and our tents are always very weak and lousy
ahaah.
stood beside the sea and saw the nice ripples and rhythmic waves lapping onto the shore.
it reminded me of kayaking.
and jellyfishes.
and how i get so freaked out when there comes a huge strong wave
and went waving under our kayaks.


how i miss the wilderness

bad things never go away.
history is repeating =miss sia walked out on us AGAIN, just like syf period
on tues.
and she didnt come for band today =
received ppr on wed.
and just like i expected, my results droppedfrom 9 points last term to 11.
i could have gotten like 9 points!
all thanks to the stupid physic prac which i failed! argh!
im gonna mug mug mug and mug with cecilia pam and rachel during the hols!

today's rachel( my junior)last day in st nicks and last drills
session and last band prac =its so saddening! she's leaving for canada.
had a cake for here in the morning during drills
and gave her a big banana! :DDD
took section photos together (:
band prac was fun. (: and combine was so terrific!
we managed to play together quite well, without a conductor!
as in we were all in time and not very messy, i think.
we sound rather nice!
haah esp pirates.
chia play the bass drum so damn loudly!!!! was going deaf!
ahha


my mom wants to treat me like a prisoner and
she makes me to all the way to tp hdb hud just to eat lunch with her
and inspect on me.
she forbids me to go out the whole of june hols.
what the hell

today's been a fun fun fun day!
went to njc funfair with pam and jingwen
as usual i went to get my vanhouten raisin choco!!!!!
:DDDDD
but meanie jingwen and pam forbid me to eat it
and they say i look very aunty taking out my own chocos to eat
when im at a funfair with lots of foooood =but i must say, sngs fiesta is still the best :DDD
we gave jingmin and huiwei a shock! ;D
saw lirong shuxian and shueli with haha!
we had so many left over tickets and had to buy food to eat
we ate more than 4 sausages man!
hahaha. im determined to get into hcjc or njc
because it is situated at bukit timah road (: my fave road
went home to do homework
and went out for dinner at SUBWAY!
it was damn funny cause my mom dunn how to order and i was abit blur
so we end up having funny conversation with the counter ppl
haha! i didnt know the counter would take the cookie for us
so i took up the stick and tried looking for the "door"
to the cookies. i kept pressing the box till the counter said
" its okay i will take it for you"
god! i felt so embarrassed!
i better go continue doign my speech

BIG WALK TMRW! :DDD

today's a nice beautiful day
went with regi debbie and erica
for sculpture walkkie talkie.
i realised one of my passion is taking random photos (((((:
its just so nice and sweet taking those random, useless but beautiful pictures.
its that moment which is so memorable "D
hahaah!
photos time :D


regi and her cow! mooo

erica,debbie,regi and me with my boyfriend :D

salvador dali

builders of the c________ bridge (:

see that? its my boyfriend aha

i got so many things in mind to blog about!




oh wells, forget it.
IM IN A GREAT SHOPPING MOOD!
i just feel like shopping.

what am i going to do with one thousand dollars?

ok i shall blog bout OBS.

day 1

meet at punggol jetty
and every oen was damn nervous
esp me! ahahah
i just couldnt wait for the next 5 days to pass quickly
took the boat to pulau ubin and arrived at campsite 2
my group was AMUNDSEN.. which we took a long time to ge tht name into our head
ESP chloe chien huiyi artadi.
ok my watch consist of
me, chloe, audrey, maple, yushi, yurui, roslyn, erica, debbie, huichun, daphne, vanessa lee, vanessa hui, yiimin, nat tiong and xiuxian,
my tent mates were chloe aud and maple
we had to surrender our valuables
and roslyn bought so many titbits! it was hilarious.
haha! did some ice breakers games and belaying and trust between friends.
i had one thing to declare.
the water there is so highly chlorinfied!!!!!!!!!!!
pitched our tents and tent mates were aud chloe and maple.
dinner was awkwardly quiet thou.
something hilarious happened at night between me and chloe
HAHAHAHA!

day 2

woke up. we were the last group as usual.
packed our haversack which was crazily heavy and i was like falling backwards
and couldnt balance myself properly!
sam baby bunny taught us how to kayak and we saw this " water snake thing"!
which turned otu not to be. haahah!floating in the water was damn fun
just tht it contained many dead flies =did capsize drills with my wonderful kayaking partner AUDREY SHIH!
later we kayaked to camp site 2 which we met with alot of difficulty!!!!
we started to drift away from the group and turning in circles.
the timid me got so freaked out and started screaming for help hah!
i think aud got quite irritated thou.sorry :P
got the hang of it and kayaked there.
did capsizze drills.
we finally had good cooked food there!!!!!
we just rinsed ourselves with water thou =dirty flithy us.
pitched our tent beside ant nestsss!!!!!!!!
argh! AMUNDSEN..always the last group. tsk tsk
did high elements thing. and i was damn happy cause i didnt get to try it
ahah! :DDDDD aud was like a monkey, so swift
and it was super funny when she fell and started flinging herself up the board again.
prepared for the next day's trekking expedition which was 15 - 17 Km!!!

day 3

woke up as usaul to prepare our land ex haversack which weighed tonnes!
we wwwere to first to set out!!!!!!!
ok the haversacks were really heavy! bet it weighed more than 10 kg.
imagine carrying it and walking 15-17 km.
LIFE WAS GETTING TOUGH. (: trekked alot and got real tired.
we went up this crazy high mountain and had a really beautiful sight!
the quarry was blue and beautiful!and we met with sandflies nest ):<
other watches decided to give up but we didnt!!!!
we trekked from one end of pulau ubin to the other alright!!!
we perservered and completed the whole journey!
3 CHEERS TO AMUNDSEN!i must say i really did well :D
at least i was walking in front :D and carrying tent.
yeah we reached campsite 3 feeling damn accomplished. :D
but we were the last. first to set off last to reach.
we were the only group who completed the whole ex k!!!
but we had trouble pitching tents cause we cant find heavy rocks
and the floor was so hard and we couldnt peck in the pecks.
the worst thing was it started to drizzle and we had to cook and eat our maggie in the pot! everyone wokring well thou (:
eating together from the same pot was really heartwarming. :D
had to pee and poo in the wilderness!!! argh! everyone could see u peeing and ppooing la!
that place was froggy filled. felt so harassed thou. craoking everywhere. -reebep!
night time was kinda scary. i couldnt sleep as instructors said there are wild boars and dogs =\ and we heard loud disturbing music from johor la!

day 4

woke up at 340 am! had to do shift from 4 to 430.
i damn sleeppy.
the johor music lasted the whole night! gosh man!
ok changed into swim wear in the tent!
haha the four of us were just changing like tht in the tent and the tent were opened somemore! :D haha but who cares.
went to pee and poo with maple chloe and yimin and something
funny happened to yimin HAHAHAHAAH!
went to the beach and brought down our kayaks.
OUR FOUR WONDERRFUL LEADERS WERE...
natalie ong from batuta, peiting from armstrong, amanda chew from chengho and xiuxian from amundsen! :DD
we saw at least 3 jelly fishy just by the shore! and kenny caught them and threw them away. we were shouting "JELLY FISH THERE! JELLY FISH HERE!"
we had to kayaked around pulau ubin! its damn long!
me and aud were really efficient. we kayaked damn fast and were right behind natalie ong.
everyone was screaming when we see any jellyfishes! ahaha :D
kayaking was fun. the stnicks spirit was so bright and illuminous! it was really heartwarming. ooh the water was really nice and clean.
i love the waves when they went under our kayaks! its so whoooo! haha
i think i turned damn dark :DD u shall see me in sch tmrw! haah
me and aud kayaked damn fast.and sst nicks really worked fast!!!
break at ubin village at around 1. amundsen were forming this amundsen fountain in the water! hahaa.
others were peeing in the sea! it was really relaxing to float in the water with ur life jacket!
went to kayaking. began to slack.
we were really tired and the water was tunred really flithy!!!
black and oilfilled!!! and there was shit inside. haha!
and poor lou and jingwen got water in their eyes and their eyes were swollen ):
yeah! we finally saw caamp site 1 jetty and we dashed towards it !!!! :DDDD
ARGH! it was so fun. day 4 was the most ineteresting and funnest day!
cleaning kayaks was no fun =all of us stood in a circle and cheered! ;D stnicks rocks! and we did much better than hendersen sec sch.
everyone sang and danced in the circle even thou we dun really know each other.
i love that part so so so so much! ;D
sadly, i turned really grumpy after tht and started bitching with chloe.
partly becasue out tent position suck and i was wet and sticky.
had candlelit dinner by the sea.it was beautiful :D
dinner was curry rice with mushrooom? haha we crapped alot and laughed alot
starting eating biscuits with URI (yurui)
and we both had this wobbling feeling on land after kayaking for such a long time.
packed our store and it started raining :D
cheeeeers! we thought we could sleep on the floor istead of our lousy tents.
but sam disallow it );
and our tent was floooded alright.
me and chloe squeezed into peiling's tent with debbie, yimin, natalietiong and yushi.
sam chased us out ):<
we slept in our flooded tent.
maple and chloe managed to sleep lying but me and aud was feeling really painful.
i was moaning and whining throughout my sleep man.
then me and aud woke up and slept sitting up for sometime.
but later we managed to squeeze and lie down. ); it was horrible.

day 5
yeah! wokeup feeling really happy.
but maple's hair was wet hahahaa!
it was really funnnny.
packed our store and washed our tents.
AND ME AND CHLOE SAW A BIG FAT UGLY SPIKY WORM!
yuckssssss!
we screamed and ran away.
ahahah.
everyone was getting irritated from packing the store esp the store ics.
haha! but we managed to complete it! :DDDD
ok had morning circle and this rude bee keep disturbing us! >:(
ahaha did some action speaks lkouder thanwords thing
and we had to ring a belll. :D tht was really fun
went to the jetty
and bade sam and obs goodbye ):

how i miss the times when we keep spraying insecticides.
how i miss the times when we keep smacking mosquitos for each others
how i miss the times when we complained bout the chlorine water
how i miss the times when we had to pitch our tents
how i miss the times when we changed in the tents together
how i miss the times when we laugh together and makan together
how i miss the times when we got home sick together
how i miss kayaking in the water and putting on sunblock
how i miss the jelly fishes
how i miss my best friend - mosquitos.

HOW I MISS AMUNDSEN AND SAM!!!

GOSH! i made it back from torturous OBS in pulau ubin!
:DDDDDDDDDDD
task accomplished (:
im beginning to miss pitching the darn tent.
i think i was too used to looking out for insects and bugs around me
and now that im home, i keep looking around
checking if there are any. haha
lets talk bout OBS.







another day maybe.

OBS tomorrow.
this is getting too fast.
gosh!hahaha
i just bought my toothbrush
dettol personal wipes
cotton twine
empty bottles
yuppp.
im still misssing of my fbt shorts and pocket knife
MUAHAHAH to slash at....i dunno. SNAKES AND LEEECHES!

im gonna miss crapping with cecilia
im gonna miss bullying pamela and copying her work
im gonna miss messaging crap to chia and eating recess with her
im gonna miss not listening in class to misss choooooo
im gonna miss my titration!!!!
im gonna miss my parents
im gonna miss my computer
im gonna miss school's food
im gonna miss morning drills and band =\
argh!

schoool ended at one today
pamela keeeeep insisting that i pung say
she and cecilia to go with peiting and audrey to carrefour
but in the end i felt so extra with all the loyalty people
and i went to join cecilia pam chloe and sushuen instead!
haha they say tht i treat them like spare tyre!
ahahah :DDDDD had fun eating with them.
cecilia is good at eating my left over foooood. (:

seeing how fun and lively and bonded loyalty people are
i feel really angry with stupid 3 purity.
i wonder why are my class people so dead and...
serious as in really overly-serious
till it gets really irritating at times
and its filled with sickening people.
but there are a MINORITY of nice people.
gosh my life is like so dull since the first day of school 2006
i see no colours no life.
i see no happiness and light.
it would be great if someone from 3p chance upon this.

5 items today
all i can say is that
it was a total failure all because
of idiotic sickening senile stricken asshole pan lao shi.

i did my pull ups correctly and i did it fast
llike maybe 5 pull ups in ten secs?!
then she diddnt count them alright?!
she counted them as only 1 or 2?!
if she's blind or slow or smthing,
she had better not be a napfa teacher there
and causing many ppl to be down graded because of her senility.
i was so crestfallen that i didnt feel like doing anymore.
what the...i believe i did till like 15 k! and she only counted 8
how wonderful can it be.

anyway thanks for JINGWEN, for crying with me.
haha and louisa and pam and chia and regi :DDD

friends aint for nothing right? (:
they are to be pillars of support

SANDFLIES! im afraid of sand flies ):
and im gonna miss my ppl!!!!!!!!!
argh! rachel, pam, sally, cecilia, my section!
i hope to be in the same group as jingwen and friends =\

i realised that my life this year
in stnicks,
in school, in class, in band have been
rather boring and dull.
no colours.
no light and the worst part is
i dun find happines and joy.
oh but having nice and wonderful friends
really help change the situation alot
i really hope that audrey sally regi and chia
are in the same class as me!
i really misssssss them!
):


the good old times

our funny shoes! <3